REAL WORLD: AUSTIN BABY!
Like the autumn with its coloring and dying of leaves, or the budding plant life and greenery of the Earth bursting with new life in the spring, each season of MTV's "Real World" is a sign post of the everchanging everthesame mill wheel of time. And you can bet your sweet bippy there is going to be some sparks flyin' and hookin' up with this wild and hot cast of young guyz n' galz!!!
This season the sparks will be flying in Austin Texas. Austin, like all the cities in the South, is a disgusting den of inequity, full of racists, drunks and eternally ignorant 'townsfolk'. The only reason these most forsaken of God's children don't continue to lynch black people is that they have Nascar to follow on television, and they are too poor to afford rope.
Even on the first episode of the season, members of the cast manage to be attacked and beaten by a group of wandering 'Good Ol' Boys' when they ask where their black friend went. While usually the Real World places disgusting people into beautiful houses in richly cosmopolitan and sophisticated cities (New York, London, Paris, San Francisco), this season they decided to shake things up and place the disgusting people into a disgusting city. I couldn't be more glad. It will be a pleasure to watch.
This season's cast is faceless and dull to me. There are 3 girls who look exactly the same, a couple frat dudes, an ugly emo girl, and the token black man with the Biblical name.
Let me quick do a run-down of the new cast and my thoughts on each:
Danny-Danny is the 'sensitive' one. 'Sensitive' I guess because he rocks the haircut of a 1st century Roman centurion guard. Other than that, he is constantly drinking and staring at fellow castmember Melinda's breasts and giving his fellow male castmembers high-fives on said breasts.
Johanna-On the MTV website she is described as a "stunning and fiery Peruvian living in Southern California, Johanna knows that the combination of her looks and intellect can get her just about anything she wants". This modern day Elizabeth Cady Stanton gets drunk, makes out with Danny, and gets into a fight on the first episode.
Lacey-How did this woman get on the show? "The Real World" is not "The Real World" without painfully gorgeous and stupid men and women. First of all-she isn't attractive. Her broad and forceful chin brings to mind that piano-playing/moon-man character "Mac Tonight" from old McDonald's advertisements. And on top of that, she is articulate, friendly, morally grounded and artistic. GET HER OFF THE SHOW!!
Melinda-Melinda is blonde and dumb and has big breasts. Hopelessly bland, and dully pretty, she is the object of high praise from every guy that she comes into contact with. Danny describes her to castmate Nehemiah as the "perfect woman", which is sort of like calling Funyons the "perfect food".
Nehemiah-Nehemiah is black. While that in addition to his difficult life is all that MTV cares about, he's the only one in the house that doesn't ellicit violent hatred or boredom. He seems sweet-natured, quiet and thoughtful. This sympathetic personality comes into conflict with the other assholes on the show. For example on the first night he is physically abused by Johanna after he tells her she's had enough to drink-something she told him to do the night before. Poor guy. He then gets yelled at by the two frat guys for being thoughtful and leaving before violence erupts. What a bastard!
Rachel-A dull-witted veteran of the Iraq war, she often uses her war experience to lord over her castmates. In her bio on MTV.com she lists 'Jenna Jameson' as her hero. Another reason why I don't support the Iraq war, or the troops fighting it.
Wes-Wes is a Kansas frat boy. As expected with such a background, he is an ignorant jock. He is nonetheless described as being 'bright and entrepreneurial', which means gets into deep philsophical discussions about competition, pussy and money.
I can't wait for the rest of the season!