Godawful Blog of the Day:
Rosie O' Donnell
Rosie O'Donnell is an entirely irritating human being; A woman with too much power, self-satisfaction and mediocrity who refuses to shut up, take her Koosh-balls and go home.
Starting as a stand-up comedienne in the 1980s with material so bland it could halt particles at the atomic and sub-atomic levels into a state of complete quiescent inanimation, she soon went on to tax precious lens space as an actress, talk-show host, and Lesbian activist.
She's kept out of the spotlight lately, much to the delight of the spotlight which, and I quote, "Could only give off so much light", and now only occasionally appears on television to be annoying about some musical or to make Hollywood liberals look even more foolish on Bill O'Reilly (speaking out about the Bush Administration's response to Hurricane Katrina, the Catholic Preist Molestation Scandal, etc.).
But Rosie O'Donnell, devotee of the Cutie Patootie
, still is belching up phony "Chicken Soup For the Soul"-isms and narcissistic personal journals on her bizarre blog
. What sets Rosie O' Donnell's blog apart from other famous douchebag celebrities' (such as the criminally untalented Zach Braff, creator of the loathsome Garden State
, and the hipster queen of Bullshit Miranda July, creator of the equally loathsome Me, You and Everyone We Know
; Worry not my friends. I will get to her in my next Awful Blog post), is that she writes all the goddamn posts in some sort of free-form e.e. cummings hyper-sentimental poetic-masturbation style.
Unlike e.e. cummings however, and this what is known as "the catch", Rosie is a clownish moron who can't write.
Here's a recent example of her nauseating style:
santa came to r house
to check out the new fireplace
we r moved in - after one yr
vivi climbed right up
where my toyz?
blakey smiled 10 000 watts
chels nodded 0 she knows
parker spotted rudolf
as he flew over the tappan zee
stop - breathe - feel this