Sunday, December 03, 2006

Upping the Hill

My back hurts. My muscles ache. I forget a lot. I go to the bathroom too much. I have trouble sleeping.

In short, I'm getting older. I turn 21 today. Another stop on my one-way ticket ride to death.
Am I being too negative? Yes, yes of course. Tomorrow is just another day and a little better as there will be some cake. No, there will be no "Power Hour" of Mexican men blowing whistles while pouring Tequila down my throat. I've promised myself to live a life sans booze, the sauce, spirits, liquor, or (as Patton Oswalt calls it) "pain go bye-bye juice", etc. Thus, I have never touched it. Nor will I be smoking. I haven't done that either. Or done anything illegal.

Still. Only 21. I probably got a good 50 years left. You ready world? Because...
(CUE Bacmann Turner Overdrive's "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet").

No. Death? Cake?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You might not believe this, but I swear on everything, just an hour or two ago, I was sitting here, and thought, You know what? Today's someone's birthday...I know it is! I kept thinking, though, whose birthday could it be? And while sifting through every December born person I could think of, your name came to mind...Patrick was born in December! And it's today...I'm so glad I came by! Happy Birthday, Patrick!! :)

I hope you have a wonderful day! I hope you get everything you wish for.

Take great care, and have fun!

Happy Birthday, Love.

All my best,
~ Ash

2:23 AM  
Blogger Trevor Murphy said...

I am alarmed by your decision to eschew all booze. There's a lot to be said for a glass of good beer or wine as a compliment to a meal or conversation-loosener among friends.

Having dispensed that bromide, I must address the more compelling point: that this is the short window in your life when it's acceptable to wake up with bits of lime in your teeth and a splitting headache in someone else's clothes. Wuorinen will still be there after the college years, but beautiful tipsy young people with loose morals and no pressing obligations will not.

1:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome to the gentle slide from adolescence into senescence; I wish you as little adulthood in-between as possible!

Trevor Murphy is right: reconsider the ban on the potables. I've never been much of a drinker, but carefully chosen and taken in proper measure, they can be an elegant ornament to an otherwise dull day. Sure, drinking, smoking (and cetera) are bad for you health, but when you're as decrepid as I am, and the blood sugar level says "no more, old man!", then at least you've still got Paris, or wherever you misspent your youth, and memories of vices past are a pleasant companion on the way out of here. So, I still allow myself a sip of Talisker once a year in my poor dinner-theatre-in-Des-Moines-quality performance of Krapp's Last Tape, and let it warm throat, heart, and soul without a tinge of regret.

And T.M. is also right about the other vices, but why the hell did he have to mention Chuckie W.? In this context, it's downright disturbing.

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eh. Booze and drugs filter too many of life's good things in my experience.
Its a healthy lifestyle, sans booze.

Now, cake...

11:22 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home