Joyce Hatto Scandal: An Admission

I never thought I would do this, but the recent scandal has made it impossible for me to remain silent.
No, I have not stolen recordings and passed them off as my own. On the contrary, people have stolen my recordings and passed them off as theirs, with my full knowledge and support (I'm awfully shy).

So, it here goes.

Karl Bohm conducting Mozart's late symphonies? Yep. That was me.
Boulez conducting Petrushka and Le Sacre du Printemps? C'était moi.
Karajan's Parsifal? Jawohl.
Glenn Gould's original recording of the Goldberg Variations? Yes. I didn't even know they were recording. I was just fucking around seeing how fast and fucked up I could play the damn thing.
Gould's re-recording of the same work? That was him. But he was copying me.
Maria Callas in Manon Lescaut? Me as well. I didn't admit it to it because I thought my buddies would think it was kinda gay.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can breathe!