Camille Paglia Sucks



















Few people annoy me more than Camille Paglia. One of the people who annoys me more is a 11 year old boy named Billy who follows me around all day poking me and saying "Does this bother you? Does this bother you? Does this bother you?" But say what you will about little Billy- he never writes shit like this:

I like Sarah Palin, and I've heartily enjoyed her arrival on the national stage. As a career classroom teacher, I can see how smart she is -- and quite frankly, I think the people who don't see it are the stupid ones, wrapped in the fuzzy mummy-gauze of their own worn-out partisan dogma. So she doesn't speak the King's English -- big whoop! There is a powerful clarity of consciousness in her eyes. She uses language with the jumps, breaks and rippling momentum of a be-bop saxophonist.

Wow. That is, I mean, really dumb. The "be-bop saxophonist" line is a prime example of Paglia's tendency to write things that are incredibly, how does one say, wrong and dumb. I've heard hundreds of be-bop records, and I've heard enough of Sarah Palin talking to know that her style is more Charlie "Corky" Thacher on Life Goes On than Charlie Parker at Massey Hall. It has the "rippling momentum" of diarrhea; not Bud Powell's solo on "Dance of Infidels."
Here is how you write a piece by Camille Paglia: "I love talking about myself a lot and how I was controversial in the 80s and how I liked Madonna despite being a feminist (WHAT?! Did I throw you for a loopdy-doo there? That's what I do!) and I like to describe some lame-ass band like Jefferson Airplane as 'Dionysian' or some shit, and I like to ruffle all those wispy, girly feathers on the left and I'm in touch with popular culture please believe that please believe that I can bring up Botticelli when talking about Angelina Jolie I'm in touch and smart and opinionated and sassy. I like Matt Drudge and he's a maverick even though he refuses to acknowledge his own homosexuality because it would alienate all the mouth-breathing bigots who read his ugly site."

So, yeah, that's basically it I think. You know you are reading Paglia when you continually cringe at how lame she is when she tries to be cool ("like a be-bop saxophonist"=










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My anger is mostly spurred by recently reading this thing about an anthology of poetry she put out. Oh it's got the cringe factor-the egotism, the lame pop cultural references, the sprinklings of "High Culture," along with that indefinable "high school teacher trying to be cool and dance with the students at Homecoming" quality. Anyways, It's about poetry. After reading it I actually want her to go back to writing 78 more pieces about how that award-show kiss between Britney Spears and signaled a rebirth of 5th century Athens in America or something. Her selections are often atrocious (i.e. "Howl is my favorite Allen Ginsberg poem"-Great choice! By any chance, is "Legend" your favorite Bob Marley album?), her taste is embarrassing (Bukowski over late Wallace Stevens? Yikes.) and her analyses are sub- 8th-grade English book report.